If All of Your Friends Jumped Off a Cliff, Would You? Yes.

This past school year was one of the hardest that I have ever helped my daughter through because this was the first year that I schooled her. Yup, I'm now "officially" a homeschooler.  

How did that happen?

My oldest daughter had been attending our neighborhood's public elementary school since kindergarten. This elementary school is said to be one of the better of all the public elementary schools within our city, and I would have to agree it is...for most children.  Kindergarten took off on the right foot, and I thought my little girl by mid-year to be a good little reader, excellent with her phonics and so I hoped this would lend to her being an excellent student. After all, she always loved books - she carried them around, took them on trips and sat on the couch staring at the covers, or flipping through the pictures. By year's end I sat with her report card in hand during the parent-teacher meeting while her teacher explained the C's is a result of her lower reading level and excessive talking. "Lower reading level? I thought she read great for a kindergartner! And as for talking, well, both I and her father have a gift to gab, it's hereditary I guess...lol."  Um, her teacher didn't think that was very funny and continued with talking about her reading level and that reading throughout the summer will be key to "catching her up." Well, we not only read all summer long but worked on sight words and re-enforced her phonics. By first grade we thought we were in excellent shape, surely caught up. As that year progressed my hopes fell to the wayside, the gap was widening and her reading level was now two levels behind. I didn't understand, I even at one stage regrettably thought my little girl was being lazy. Soon to follow, her inability to spell became obvious. Instead of writing "like" "this" and "would" she would write "lik" "tes" and "wld". Her first-grade teacher told me that they do not teach spelling, and do not correct it.  "What?!?!" Apparently, kids who can spell do, and kids that can't spell don't. Well, thank God for spell check then...no, really...thank Him.  Because I can't spell and never could. At least I now know what else is hereditary - learning disabilities.  Deep breath in, and I scheduled her to be evaluated for second-grade.  Breath out, she has a processing disorder, but the "label" is under Other Health Impairment".  Why, because they couldn't exactly tell me what kind of processing disorder, they only knew that this affected her attention and ability to focus on the task. They also found weaknesses in her math skills. I would like to stop and praise God, because (according to the school's physiologist) they could have chosen to not give her a diagnoses, refusing to give her an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), but my daughter's first and second grade teachers stood to bat for her, emphasizing something was indeed wrong and an IEP was written. That second-grade year was hard for all involved, but hardest on my little girl who continued to fall behind despite her awesome effort to "catch" up. She would cry...cry because she felt so stupid. I would sit with her and tell her that she is beautifully imaginative (because she really is), and people with the wildest and most awesome imaginations never do well in the classroom. I taught her that hard work and dedication to school is important, but if your very best earns you a C, then that C is really an A. She worked hard that school year and we were proud.  Third grade, it started off with excitement and ended with a headache. In short, her sweet teacher left right before the second report card for maternity leave. A stable substitute was never provided and despite her still having an assisted learning coach by the third marking period they, the "teachers", allowed my daughter to drop two grade levels in both reading and writing and one level in math without contacting me that this was happening. Understand, I am not an uninvolved parent. I was doing my part with her at home, they were not doing they're part with her at school. And because of the multiple subs, my daughter was able to get away with unsigned tests. See, she was ashamed of her scores so she chose not to bring them home for me to see. And the reason her scores were dropping was because her multiple and inconsistent substitute teachers cause her instability at school. I brought this to the principle's attention and demanded that she be placed with another teacher, one that has no plans to leave. They complied. And she was placed with a wonderful teacher that was known to "teach a little different". My thought was this, How come my daughter wasn't placed with her to begin with? Surely the school staff knew the original teacher was going out on maternity leave, why place ANY kids that were on an IEP with her? And why didn't her assisted learning coach reach out to me? 

Fourth-grade, it was an even keel kinda year. Her class had a seemingly higher percentage of children that needed assistance, but they had one teacher, two aides and an assistant learning coach who stayed in the class all year long.  And once again I was left disappointed, despite ALL of our efforts; my daughter's, mine, the teachers, the tweaking of her IEP after every meeting, despite constant reading, and summers full of Starfall, this poor kid was still levels behind.  

Grade Five

The summer of fourth grade was coming to and end and the back to school supplies were advertised in every store bringing excitement and anticipation to this little girl that refused to let her zeal to learn be hindered by a "disability". Her grandmother took her and her supply list to Target, and returned with two big bags of "fun". At home, I sat online shopping for new uniforms and school shoes. She was ready for the school year!  

Meanwhile; I was putting together pre-school materials and a kindergarten curriculum for my two younger daughters. While my oldest was in third grade I started to feel this attraction to the idea of homeschooling, which eventually lead to my decision to "try" it out with my approaching pre-K and K students. If all went well and I was comfortable (haha) I would save the middle school enrollment and homeschool 6th grade. The Wednesday before school started I went to a co-op meeting with the founder (a seasoned homeschooler) and my good friend (homeschooler of three years) to discuss and show my ideas and K curriculum. It was during this meeting that my decision to keep my oldest in school to finish her elementary education was challenged.  And I mean challenged! Because I did not want to pull her outta school, I had NO intentions of doing so and NO idea what I was doing, that I could even do this, the fear was that I would fail ~ miserably, and the stakes because of her disabilities were just too high. "Look, I'm gonna get my feet wet homeschooling the little ones, and after I get a handle on what I'm doing I'll see about homeschooling her next year."   

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ... "Now move outta my way mom"

Remember the cliff, I didn't jump - God pushed me.  And three days before school started I hustled to get all of the paperwork ready for the school district so that I could pull her out of fifth-grade enrollment. Certificate in hand stamped: Approved for Homeschooling. 

And then like a quickening, fear, and panic set in. Every worriment snuck in my heart and I soon became overwhelmed with anxiety, until I remembered Psalm 34:4 "I sought the LORD, and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears". From that moment I started to pray without ceasing, and my fear lifted. 

Mobile again, I started my school year.   

~A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That~

Not really knowing what I was doing I followed my friend's footsteps and handpicked the curriculum. I started with the idea that building skill sets off of the foundation of classical education would be best. I quickly ordered her History, Geography, Bible, and Literature from Simply Charlotte Mason. I ordered her Growing with Grammar level 5 (which she did very well with). I used a handed down 3rd-grade Abeka spelling booklet and for Science - Apologia's Flying Creatures of the Fith Day, to which I only had to order her a journaling workbook because my friend had given us the textbook. Math I delayed and for good reason, I needed to research which curriculum to put her on and while I did that she learned her time tables and was given 1-minute drills (which for her took 3, but that's okay because she knows them). In January I ordered her Teaching Textbooks Math 4. She can do this independently and therefore has gained confidence. As the year progressed I too gained more confidence, introducing new work sites online such as Xtra Math and Stories of U.S.A. (.com) which is great for studying U.S. history! We took field trips, and made art, and read together as a family, we did a fire safety lab book together as a family too.  This year, proved so much; that moving at my daughter's pace helps her tremendously. If you asked her if she wanted to go back to school (as I did a couple times) she'd tell you "No way! I'm learning a lot and I like being homeschooled".  That proves that I can do this.  It also proves that planning everything out can sometimes hold you back, and jumping into something head first can propel you forward into a world of wonderful.  And that I didn't need a parachute because my God is an awesome God! 

Amen!