Let Us Then, Draw Near to the Throne of Grace

Prayer for mercy and grace 

My Dear Awesome Lord,

I am woefully inadequate for the task you have set before me. It's been said, that the best saints see themselves undone unless continually preserved by the grace of God, and it is by Your grace that I get up each day and serve my children, to teach them Your ways and to love them through all storms and seasons. I want to love them perfectly, it is my desire. But oh Lord, some days I fall so short I wonder how I will pick up the mess, how I will move forward. Please forgive me. You have triumphed over our spiritual enemies, allow me too, through your tender mercies and grace to do so. Because of you, I shall conquer the enormous task of raising my children. Please remind me all my days to give as you give, to love as you love, and to show mercy and grace to my babies as you show them to me. Let them see You in me and let them know that my teachings are true and right as you are true and right. My God, all that you have done and will do is the ground of my joy, let my children see that.

2 John 1:3
Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love.

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I really did want to write a post in April, actually two, but I kept falling on my face that month and was able to only manage the absolute necessities that our life required; school, meals, laundry, baths and bedtimes. The lessons around all of my April defeats centered around grace and mercy, so I thought it fitting to write this post.  

I will tell you the latest happening; 

I quite recently allowed myself to look like an enormous jerk on Facebook..."No!, that never happens to anyone", lol. A picture of my nephew was posted that was really silly, my 8yr old nephew looked super goofy, and it made me laugh. So I (mistakingly) posted how he looked "gay". Now, before you scold me on both my stupidity and insensitivity of using such a word, know that I am a product of the '80s, and that means that "gay" is not always mentally linked with sexual orientation as so much as it's linked with a style or look of flamboyant dorkyness. In any case, I meant only to tease. Well, "meaning to" is not always a pass, and in my case this was true. My sister-in-law rightfully slammed me and I was immediately embarrassed, my brother straight up disowned me, and both publicly. Their anger was based on that I insulted their child publicly. But, my point will be about grace and mercy, if I had grace enough to let a dorky picture pass me by without comment, this would not have happened. If they, the parents, had shown me mercy by gracefully dismissing my comment this would not have happened. 

This grace and mercy that I want to be shown to me, do I always show to others? I am giving it freely to my children?  

As I mentioned, this month has been oddly difficult. I say "oddly" because I have had hard times in my life. Huge, huge obstacles, and mental agonies to overcome, this is not one of these times. My life is relatively easy at this point in time (thank God, truly) and yet I am in this mental rut. We all know mental ruts...I'm tired and sluggish, I've not submitted paperwork that needs submitting, I've not seasonally transitioned my and my hub bub's clothes, though I did do the four kids! And I've stopped my morning exercise routine. So this makes for a snippy mommy. And I've noticed that there have been many times that I should have given my kids a break aka grace.

I am not suggesting that grace is letting my kid do whatever. I am saying that when my 2 year old boy pulls his "winggie wang" out of the top of his diaper to pee all over himself and the floor, while my 4-year-old, despite my order to wait for me to help wipe her, wipes herself and gets poo all over her and the toilet and my oldest and middle children start bickering over not touching each other's stuff in a room they share, I will not scream at them...I will simply change my boy and clean the floor without complaint, I will gently remind my little girl that she's not ready to wipe herself and this is why. And I will allow my older two girls to watch a  t.v. show that features friendship. I am not giving in to my children's sin, to their selfishness, or to inconvenient accidents. God gives us grace and still upholds the law. While we were selfishly perusing our sin, God gave us his Son. He gave us a way out, a way to see our sins and be freed from them. He does this with tender love and sweet mercy. Once His, he disciplines us when needed and more times then not he uses His grace to do so. 

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men,
instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly,
righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope
and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus,
who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed,
and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession,
zealous for good deeds.
Titus 2:11-14

The goal;

I want my children to be able to approach me with anything, no matter their challenge or sin. A mother that punishes instead of disciplines, a mother that rarely gives grace or never shows mercy will not gain their children's approach and will not gain their counsel when older.