Mama Said to Always be Grateful

The other day a good friend of mine posted a blog post by Mama Said called "I'm Grateful, Now Fuck Off!" To which the inner contents are as off-putting as the title. I have to be open here, this mother's message bothered me and bothered me, even more, when I looked her up and saw the tremendous support and "Likes" this blog post had received. Why?, Because this year is my first year homeschooling. My social time has plummeted, and so I have leaned more heavily into the circles of homeschoolers, church, and stay at home mommies for support and encouragement. I have forgotten the attitudes of others, the depths of their struggles, the hostilities toward anything including one's own children when the comforts of self are attacked.  I forgot. How??? As if I were never there, as if I had never been in the darkness ranting out or at my children for taking up my time, to fulfill myself, my needs; whether it be sleep, food, a shower or even sad to say to read a chapter in my Bible. But I have forgotten because He who started a good work in me if fulfilling His promise.

The Contents of this mother's rant (although you can click on the link if you want to read it for yourself) is in short this; that she is nursing and feels the stress and annoyance of the constant feedings, she is exhausted because the baby wakes to eat through the night and she wants to sleep and because she is nursing and exhausted she pulls the baby in bed with her but in no time the baby has taken over her bed, leaving a corner to sleep on and a complaint -  “FUCK THIS SHIT IT’S MY BED. WHY ARE YOU EVEN UPSIDE DOWN? WHY CAN’T I HAVE ONE SPACE THAT IS MY OWN? WHY ARE YOU ALMOST THREE AND YOU SLEEP WORSE THAN A NEWBORN? WHY IS THERE NEVER ANY ROOM FOR ME??”. So the mother, in order to vent this anger posts her "grievances" on Facebook and therefore receives feedback by friends and family telling her to be grateful, the baby will grow and you'll miss this stage. To which she is annoyed thinking that there are better words of encouragement. And to note she goes on a bit insulting the older moms who offer this advice. Look, I am not completely inspired by these words of encouragement either, mainly because I have no plans when my children are older or grown to look back on this stage and think anything but I did my very best, because I am, not doing anything perfectly, but I am doing my very best because my bar, my standard,..is Jesus Christ.

Why again, why write about this?  Because this Mama Said is collateral damage, a side effect of our cultural - the culture of self, selfies, self fulfillers, self satisfiers of the flesh. And a counter is necessary. We need to be both encouraging each other and the unbeliever. I really would like to offer advice to this mother who would rather be "pashing, happy drunk, smoking in a bar, dancing, or on drugs – y’know, generally having a fulfilling life that doesn't involve milk dripping out of your breasts or playing the fart or shit game." 

Let me Start with the Heart of the Issue

2 Timothy 3:2-4 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

Mama Said is feeding her flesh by ranting and complaining because her wants are not being satisfied. Haha, don't get me wrong, sleep is super important, food is even more so, both are essential and therefore extremely hard to manage...anything...at all when your tanks are low. But your NOT gonna die cause you had to skip a meal or more than likely delay it. And yes, sleep depravity is by far the greater of villains, but again the situation IS momentary, you can control yourself and the bottom line is, it may feel like you wanna die, but your not gonna. I wish Mama Said could see that greater the challenge, greater the defeat but when won, sweeter is the victory. The Mama also said that she's grateful, but she's not. Gratefulness does not look like her post, it just doesn't. She quite frankly is lying to herself, we've all done it to make ourselves feel better, let's not be coy. But lying to ourselves is justifying the flesh, rationalizing the bad behavior. We are called to control ourselves, we are to STARVE our flesh and in time it will die. It will not gripe or complain or want. That is my goal, that is where I am headed because that is when I look most like the one I follow.  Am I grateful 100% of the time...no, even though I am told to be grateful in all things, but I will say that every time I have complained (and I do so to a select few, not to Facebook, and I'll touch on that in a moment) I have lost yet another battle. We as Christians are to "wadge war on your flesh", these losing battles, they are important to the war. The enemy wants you weak so that you are ineffective in advancing God's Kingdom. I take this very seriously.

Philippians 2:14-15 “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.”

And that brings us to Facebook. Or any other outlet that reveals you to the world;  

Remember 1 Corinthians 9:27, and discipline your self so that you might not be disqualified. Even if I were an unbeliever I would not take parenting advice from Mama Said, she does not reflect a good mother. And that's sad because she might be. her kids might be well adjusted, normal, happy kids and one-day productive members of society. But based on her Facebook profile and blog post rant I would judge it unlikely. How are we to be salt and light, a lighthouse on a hill to help others if we can't even control ourselves? This generation of motherhood is overwhelmingly lost because this generation is overwhelmingly lost. And again, I need to stress that I am in no way saying to put up a front, a face, a picture-perfect image because you will fail. 

And you will miss lead others. I am saying - lean hard into Christ, let Him be the lamp at your feet and light to your path so that you may see and follow so that others can see you and follow. 

I read an article from Modern Reformation called -  The Discomfort of the Justified Life. I pulled a piece from the author that I think furthers my point:  

 As Paul wrote in Galatians 5:17, "For the desires of the flesh are against the spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh. For these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do." This is a picture of the struggle. Then Peter urged us in 1 Peter 2:11, "To abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your souls." Notice the war metaphor. There is indeed guerilla warfare going on in the soul of every believer that causes us a great deal of discomfort. We don't like the struggle, and we especially do not like it when we feel defeated in the struggle.

Unbelievers don't have such a struggle. For the most part, they enjoy their sin or rationalize their sinful attitudes. They feel justified in their self-righteousness, their critical and unforgiving spirits, and their pursuits of pleasure and materialism. Occasionally, they regret the consequences of their attitudes and actions, but they do not see them as sin. There is no guerilla warfare for the unbeliever. They may or may not have conflicts with other people, but there is little conflict within themselves.

In Closing, I just wanted to say, Sisters, if you have not started to discipline yourself do not be discouraged. I am but a babe myself...know that the race is long, all you need to do is start.